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November 10, 2008
"And according to a federal report, unemployment claims went up by 300,000. And that's just Republicans in Washington." --Jay Leno
"Some of the smaller elections across the country on Tuesday were very close. The election for mayor in a small town in Minnesota was a tie, so they decided to choose a winner with a coin toss. Unfortunately, the economy is so bad, no one had a coin." --Conan O'Brien
"Barack Obama promised a new America in which the powerless will have a voice. So, he's already reaching out to Republicans." --Jay Leno
"And yesterday at the White House, President Bush's dog, Barney, bit a White House reporter. Bush said, 'Finally!'" --Jay Leno
"And there have been rumors that if the economy continues to get worse, that Barack Obama may have to suspend plans for any income or capital gains tax increases. In fact, they say Obama's considering suspending all tax increases, except those on Joe the plumber. His are going to go up." --Jay Leno
"The stock market had its worst week in a long time, and that's saying something considering recent history. Not only that, the stores are reporting their worst earnings in the last eight years, unemployment is at a 14-year high, car companies apparently are headed toward extinction. Today in Times Square, the stock ticker just said, 'What the heck (altered) are you looking at?'" --Bill Maher
Filed Under: Dose of Humor, In The News.
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